A STUDENT THEOLOGICAL or THE ROAD OF PREFERMENT
(Tune: The Major-General's song from "Pirates of Penzance" by Sir Arthur Sullivan)
I was the very model of a student theological,
I'd information biblical and temporal and spiritual,
I knew the Kings of Israel and could quote the fights historical,
From Jericho to Meggido in order categorical.
I was very well acquainted too with techniques exegetical,
I understood both Bultmann, Barth, Von Rad and others critical,
About the Penteteuchal form I studied quite a lot of views, (pause)
And I read the "Daily Mirror" 'cause I thought I need to know the news!
He read the "Daily Mirror" 'cause he thought he need to know the news.
He read the "Daily Mirror" 'cause he thought he need to know the news.
He read the "Daily Mirror" 'cause he thought he need to know, to know the news.
I was very good at chatting up the Vicars in the parishes,
I knew the place for incense, candles, crosses, bells and monstrances,
In short in matters biblical and temporal and spiritual,
I was the very model of a student theological.
In short in matters biblical and temporal and spiritual,
He was the very model of a student theological.
I knew my Jewish history, King David's psalms and other hits,
I searched out mythic passages to edit all the dubious bits,
There wasn't much I left in either Micah or Ezekiel,
And I took out all the Gospels as they were quite immaterial. (pause)
I could tell which Pauline writings were in origin apocryphal,
I read at length from commentaries about the books canonical,
I learnt by heart Mosaic rites and other law that's clerical, (pause)
And swore in words derived from objects small and round and spherical.
He swore in words derived from objects small and round and spherical.
He swore in words derived from objects small and round and spherical.
He swore in words derived from objects small and round and spheri, spherical.
Now I can write my sermons out in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you every detail of Goliath's iron-age uniform,
In brief in matters biblical and temporal and spiritual,
I became the very model of a cleric theological.
In brief in matters biblical and temporal and spiritual,
He became the very model of a cleric theological.
In fact now I know what is meant by "pastoral unravelling",
Now I can tell at sight a dead Sea Scroll from Ahab's javelin,
Whilst such affairs as counselling and praying I'm quite wary at,
At least I know how I can keep my vestments pressed and stored quite flat.
I've learnt about the progress that's been made in sermon summary,
I know what deacons practice with a novice in a Nunnery,
In short, I've learnt a lot about the Canaanite geography,
So all can see an Archdeacon who understands theology!
So all can see an Archdeacon who understands theology!
So all can see an Archdeacon who understands theology!
So all can see an Archdeacon who understands theol, theology!
Now my studies of religion have condensed into a single thought,
That no-one's sure of anything, of any fact of any sort,
And that's how in matters biblical and temporal and spiritual,
I'm now the very model of a Bishop theological!
That's how in matters biblical and temporal and spiritual,
He's now the very model of a Bishop theological!
© Pharisaios Publications 1985, 2001.
